I am packing. My back hurts and I took a hit to the jaw today from a falling box. All of my cooling racks except one fit in with my baking pans. I have decided not to care about that, usually I would, but not tonight. I am packing. I am getting an intimate, one on one moment with all of my belongings. All the things that I have felt the need at one time or another to invite into my life. Everything that has, for the past six years, survived my cleaning purges (I am the opposite of a pack rat...always getting rid of stuff) and I am fairly confident that I will never, EVER have to buy another item in my life again...ever. Yeah, that's right...we got S T U F F!
We will put everything in storage for a few months and I am looking forward to being away from all my stuff. Is that a funny thing to say? Well, try it sometime. It's refreshing. Perhaps vacations aren't about where you go as much as what you leave. Just the act of leaving something is freeing and empowering.
People ask me if I'm excited about moving. Well... is it ok to be sad about getting something that you wanted? Because that's how I feel. I wanted to move, but now that it's happening... and goodbye's are immiment, the emotions are very close to the surface. I was teary all night as I packed with boxes and used packing paper that friends had brought me. I've moved enough to know that you keep moving boxes and packing paper after you move for a reason...so when someone brings them to you, it's really a dear gesture.
In Spanish Fork, I chose to love. I decided to accept people on their terms and assume the best. This has made my heart happy and my life rich. It probably hasn't changed how other people have viewed me though...I'm sure it's quite the opposite. I'm sure some people hate me, or are annoyed by me, or think I'm utterly ridiculous. But, like the deviant cooling rack that didn't fit in my box, I have decided not to care about that. There's just no room for it. And I'm ok with that.