At 0500 (5 am) I woke up one morning, just as weary and discouraged as I was when I went to bed the night before. I knelt down by my bed to pray, unsure if I'd even find words. The words did come however and they pretty much consisted of: "Heavenly Father...I don't even know what to do any more. I don't even know what to say."
I followed my prayer that morning by getting up and checking my email. At approximately 0508 (5:08 am) I found an email from a friend that had a scripture reference in the subject line followed by the statement 'it is true'. There was nothing else in the email. When I opened my scriptures to the reference, I found these words: "...feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do." For the rest of the day, I thought about my friend and his timely message and I had to ask myself: exactly who is this guy...and how did he do that?!
Amazed and completely rededicated to feasting upon the words of Christ, I resumed my life as usual. Little did I know, that another email would soon come and knock me off my feet. Another dear friend, who is aware of my recent trials, sent me a little note to let me know that she and her husband wanted to do something nice for me but were not sure what I needed most. After carefully contemplating what would be the greatest blessing to me right now, I responded with my request. She asked how much that would cost and I told her $300. She wrote back immediately, completely awestruck. Prior to asking what I needed most, she and her husband had considered just sending me $300, but had decided to find out what I needed first.
These events, both happening in the same week, were like marrow to my bones. I felt renewed and humbled and I was ready to carry on. Little did I know that there would be one more miracle.
We have been attending a different congregation each week because we are technically in transit until our house in Illinois is sold and we can move into our house here. We don't want to cozy into a new ward "family" just to up and leave again in two months. We've all had enough 'goodbyes' for a while.
Just this past Sunday, while singing the closing hymn in a congregation in downtown Salt Lake City, it occurred to me that this was the third chapel, third congregation and third week in a row that we had sung hymn # 166; "Abide with Me."
"I need thy presence ev'ry passing hour. What but thy grace can foil the tempter's pow'r?
Who, like thyself, my guide and stay can be? Thru cloud and sunshine, Lord, abide with me!"
0500, 0508, 300, and 166. These are my numbers. They are mine. God gave them to me so that I would know that He still cares for the 'one', even when that 'one' is barely strong enough to pray. This 'one' has decided not to give up on Him either.