Got the papers today, the divorce is final. The Jarmans relationship with the State of Illinois is officially over, we FINALLY sold our house! Having never been divorced before, I cannot authoritatively use this analogy, but I'm going to give it a try anyway.
Sure, the sex was good and we had our laughs, but now that it's all over and we've made our first AND LAST alimony payment ($23,000)* the regret has become a little difficult to ignore. Hindsight is 20/20 and in some cases 3D. The money lost is one thing, but living with consequences from decisions that we felt at the time were wrong, but that we went ahead with anyway...ouch. Mega-ouch.
But on the other hand, could we imagine life without the "kids" (a.k.a. our new friends in Illinois) that are a direct result of this marriage-gone-wrong? Doesn't that make it worth it? Don't the good and in some cases, rather remarkable memories ameliorate some of the remorse?
Yes, actually...they do. But here enters the least popular paradox known to human-kind; when an altogether awful occurrence has a somewhat splendid side-effect. In such situations, time is your only friend. Eventually, unless you are sick in the head, the bad will fade away and the good will continue to bless and even possibly, become the only reality you are aware of.
So today will....bite. Tomorrow will hurt. And it probably won't get better for a while. But hang in there, it will get better. (Thank you, Self....that's good advice, maybe today won't totally stink after all.)
* half of it taxes, the other half closing costs