Showing posts with label rebound. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rebound. Show all posts

Saturday, February 1, 2020

Poor Design

She would bring a fresh, clean towel and leave it right next to the shower for him.  Otherwise, due to poor bathroom design, he would have to step out of the shower, dripping wet, and grab one off the hook from the other side of the room.  It was one of her little ways of saying "I love you". 

However, if he was distracted, he would not see the clean towel within his reach and he would step out, all wet, and grab an old one from across the room any way. She thought it was funny when he did that.

Then one day upon entering the bathroom, she saw a clean, overlooked towel still sitting next to the shower.  She picked it up to return it to the closet in anticipation of his next sleepover, when she noticed his cell phone was lying underneath. His new habit of taking his cell phone with him everywhere, had been the subject of a conversation just a few days before. Another new habit of keeping the phone in airplane mode all the time was also discussed. In defense, he said it was nothing and dismissed her concerns with "you can look at my phone if you want".  Which she refused.

But now, on second thought...

An hour later, face wet with tears and heart torn from her chest, she selected and erased every sweet and loving text she had ever sent him, from off his phone.  She left the impassioned love letters he had recently written to his ex, letters in which he described her, his new girlfriend, as "just a few dates that leave me feeling empty inside." She left those just as she found them, and then clicked off the phone.  She drove over to his house and left it on his doorstep.  

After the "I wasn't crazy after all" exhale, healing began for her. But not for him.  He now picks up the pieces, when he should have just picked up the towel.  He should have just seen the love that was offered him, love waiting to be accepted. It's drenched in the cruelest shade of symbolism; looking past the clean, fresh towel...that act of love...that promise of a fresh start.   Instead choosing an old towel, forever out-of-reach...forever cold...ass flapping in the wind.






Monday, January 6, 2020

The Trouble with Rebounds

Six weeks, five months and divorce not even final yet. These are the lengths of time between when a few of my boyfriends started dating me and when their previous relationships ended. In other words...I'm pretty good at showing up right when its pick-up-the-pieces time.

 I'll admit, I haven't always been happy about that; about being the rebound. In fact at one time I had sworn it off completely. I became a big believer in Dr. Joy Browne's One-Year Rule. But then I met him. He was neck deep in the rebound stage, yet so hopelessly irresistible. This one was going to hurt like hell but I knew I'd rather be his rebound than his nothing.   

 So I tried to look at rebounds in a new way: when a relationship ends we are left holding a bunch of feels that we aren't quite sure what to do with. There used to be someone else there who not only created those feels with us but helped carry them as well. Now we're left holding them all by ourselves. It makes all the difference to have someone special in our life to help reorganize/carry them through this difficult time.  This picture that my son made illustrates what I mean:



Of course, we can't ignore the fact that while you are playing this noble role of "human anesthetic" for another person...you have just opened yourself up to getting hurt.  But then again...anytime you are someone's anything you are probably going to get hurt!  That's why it is so important to go into relationships with eyes open, especially when one of you is recovering from a recent break-up.  Expectations do most of the driving and all of the damage in relationships.  

                        

So, why would you EVER want to be someone's rebound?  You don't.  But you will probably do it anyway, especially if you are the least bit optimistic, adventurous, romantic and best of all...horny.

Buckle up, baby.  It's gonna be a bumpy ride. Enjoy it!