Friday, September 14, 2012

Uugh!  Gah!  Ewww! No! No! No!

This is the sound of me throwing a temper tantrum. a grown woman, throwing a temper tantrum.  Please, allow me to explain:

I haven't had a hair cut since we've been here in Illinois, at least not one that didn't involve me standing in my bathroom with a death grip on the electric clippers, cursing everything known to man, while buzzing off what you maybe, might, conceivable refer to hair, or what's left of it. 

(Why, you may be asking, don't I grow it out?  Wouldn't long, thin hair be better than short, thin hair? Haven't I ever heard of a comb over, you ask?  Well...have you ever seen the Crypt-keeper? There's your answer.)

In Utah, I had a couple of lovely friends who had salons in their homes, who knew me 'before', and where I felt comfortable getting my hair cut.  Here I have nothing like that and  I have not been able to bring myself to go sit down in a salon full of women with beautiful hair and let total strangers try to act natural and not gawk at my pathetic little scalp.  It is humiliating just to think about it. 

So when it became apparent that I was long overdue for a real trimming, the best idea I could come up with was a barbershop.  Still, plenty of apprehension, but desperation and common sense were coming up on the inside and getting ready to steal the lead.  I had no choice but to act like I was with them as they crossed the finish line.

So yesterday, Mark took me to the barbershop.  And, it wasn't my favoritest thing in the world.  Especially the part where the barber swung my chair around, stopping me only when I was face to face with a guy who was waiting for his turn on the bench adjacent my chair.  He was a very talented finger tapper and took a sudden interest in the ceiling.  I'm not sure what was up there, but probably not a girl in a barber chair looking all butched up.

Anyway, so...I just closed my eyes and repeated in my head "I'm just getting a hair cut, I'm just getting a hair cut" over and over until the tears that were pushing at the back of my eyes went away.
Snippity, snip, snip, snip...a couple bucks for the tip, and we were on our way.

And that my friends, is what makes me say Uugh!  Gah!  No, no, please....please, not ever again, no.